"Pardon me while I burst into flames...."

Having one mega weight lifted off my back, I just remmember feeling this way... this light, contradictory way... This pleasent, but suicidal way... What is this thing again? (that was a retorical question, okay?!)... This sting of never yes now plead. This thing of -if- never, -okay, I'm doing great, -okat, I'm lovingly lifted and great.- This" I'll die in the next second, and be born again the second it meets."

Love is the phoenix complex!

And every time I start feeling like this I wanna repress myself and go back to disbelief, because we stupid human beings have made up this lie in which if we suffer and not believe from the beggining, we will suffer less in "the end". First of all: that is a lie. Second: when can we call it the end? When to we sum up the points and call it a match? When do we get to decide who won? I've suffered along the way to my only true heart-break and when I called it the end, was actually almost when I could embrace delight of lonesomness. So we choose our endings. "We may loose and we may win, but we may never be here again".
And since it's an Incubus vibe today, this is about the moment love disappears:
"Round and round we go...
who could've known it'd end so well?
We fall on and we fall off...
existential carousel."

So all the lightness can go away whenever I remmember this is not my view. And then, then I just endure the day. So whatever will come of me, whatever will come of this, at least here I have given myself the right to be naive, stupid, dreamy, and a waste of time to myself... It's like digging a hole in the groung and screaming into it. Hope noone makes flutes off of these bambus...

ECHO
(incubus)
There's something about the look in your eyes
Something I noticed when the light was just right
It reminded me twice that I was alive
And it reminded me that you're so worth the fight
My biggest fear will be the rescue of me
Strange how it turns out that way
Could you show me dear
Something I've not seen
Something infinitely interesting
Could you show me dear
Something I've not seen
Something infinitely interesting
There's something about the way you move
I see your mouth in slow motion when you sing
More subtle than something someone contrives
Your movements echo that I have seen the real thing
Your biggest fear will be the rescue of you
Strange how it turns out that way
Could you show me dear
Something I've not seen
Something infinitely interesting
Could you show me dear
Something I've not seen
Something infinitely interesting